Saying Grace: Postcards vs. Epistolaries

grace:  A short prayer of blessing or thanksgiving said before or after a meal. 

I am a non-religious person. I do not practice any formal religion of any stripe and haven't done so for many years. I do, however, believe in, and try to practice, religious tolerance. In fact, I usually see it as a matter of courtesy.  

But there's a pet peeve I have. Perhaps one that you yourself share. It's about grace-sayers who use saying grace as their bully pulpit. It usually happens at a family gathering but I’ve also experienced it in a more public arena where a religious leader takes advantage of the ready-made audience and attempts to advance his or her proselytizing agenda. 

Here's why I find this particular thing so annoying. I believe using the time before a meal for anything other than blessing the food is a gross misuse of power. If the grace-sayer could say their blessing in a few short sentences or even after the meal they are delaying, I'd probably be in a more charitable mood. But using precious time (while the food is getting cold and tummies are rumbling) to bless anything other than the food comes off to me as plain rude. If you’re guilty of this and you are keeping good folks from politely “digging in”, then just stop it. Let the cook silently thank God that he or she got the meal done without burning down the house. Let the cook silently implore God to find it in His or Her will to have enough food on the table for all present. Let the cook silently ask God if she has forgotten anything.

I rather like the bit about "or after" in the above definition of grace. I've often thought that after a meal was a more fitting place to say grace. Put that whole tradition of public grace-saying at the end of the meal and there's plenty who will be mighty thankful that their tummies are full and the food was good. All the non-religious will also be more likely to say “Hear, hear!” to a grace said at the end of a meal. They may even be able to burp up a pleasant "Amen!" It's possible they may even be a little more tolerant of any “extras” the grace-sayer may feel compelled to slip in. If they aren't, then at least they might be able to slip out quietly, assuming, of course, they have already given their compliments to the chef.

It's my belief that God, if He's there, does not give you extra points for creating a grand pre-meal epistolary. He (or maybe She) is probably just glad to hear from you. So, the next time you're asked to say grace at a gathering, please do the courteous thing:  Stay on topic – remember, it's about the food  –  and keep it short. Postcards, folks, not epistolaries.

Outsider-ism and Belonging

I've been a facilitator for a writing group for over ten years.  There are a good number of our group who have been coming for much of that ten years. A few have done some great writing and managed to at least self-publish some respectable books. Many have the same occasional but continued commitment to writing that I do.  We are not out to set the world on fire with our writing.  We enjoy the act of writing and we want to make what we write better. It's not that we don't dream about great publishing pursuits and successes but there may be others besides myself who could lay claim to the title of "the Walter Mitty of the Writing World".

And then there are the new people.  Those who arrive on meeting night looking for an answer to the isolation and inferiority we all feel when we confront the blank page.  Or when we continue to fail at finding the time for our pursuits.  Will this group help us get to where we want to be?  Can I bring something useful to this group?  Am I good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, will people like me?  (Also, as extension, is my writing good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, will people like it?)

The tables were turned this week.  I found myself the odd outsider.  The one who had a vision for something that was too big to accomplish on my own.  And then the one who wanted to join in, find a creative voice, add to the bigger picture that someone else had envisioned.  I became a member of the 2012 XPT group simply by applying and showing up.  But becoming a working, contributing member will take a little more effort.  What can I do?


XPT is Experimental Puppetry Theater at the Center for Puppetry Arts in Atlanta.  It's a 45 minute ride into town.  It's a commitment.  I've got a stressful full-time job and a grandbaby on the way in another country and a mother downsizing to an apartment.  I've got a writers group to attend to.


I primarily applied to XPT as a project director.  An effort to turn an idea into a full-fledged puppetry production or short film.  But for reasons not yet fully understood, my project was passed up in favor of others.  I'm okay with that.  Really, I am.  But I told myself from the get go that if I couldn't be a project director, I at least wanted to be involved in helping others get their projects underway.  I like the feeling of community and camaraderie and group efforts in making something really interesting and artistic and awesome.  I want to be a part of it.  A helper.  But again, what can I do?  How do I break in?

I'd asked at the interview what the predominant demographic was of the folks who participated in XPT in the past.  I was fishing for whether or not there'd be a lot of seasoned -- ahem, well-seasoned, as in salt and peppered hair -- people in the ranks.  I got the idea that this was basically a younger "man's" game.  But I wasn't particularly discouraged from joining.  But the fit...

So, yes, I showed up at the XPT kickoff night where the project directors explain their concepts and people who were looking to help introduced themselves.  How might I have introduced myself, had I not chosen to sit in the front row and been called on first?  After having heard a number of people later admit to being total newbies, might I have been more comfortable? Might I have been able to "sell" my "mad skills" somehow?  As it was, I may have come off as a bit meek and goofy.  Is it really possible to be both meek and goofy at the same time?  (Goofy takes at least a smidgen of boldness, right?)


And what was this blog, written a couple of weeks ago, trying to say?  Something about feeling out of place.  Something about making others feel welcome. Something about wanting to contribute and not quite knowing how.  And probably something about confidence and lack of it.  I didn't post it then. It wasn't finished.  It isn't finished now but it's preventing me from moving on. Silly, yes. Move on, I say.

"Like an Alcoholic Working in a Liquor Store" - A Riff on Reading Habits

"I'm like an alcoholic working in a liquor store." That's what I say to the library patrons when I'm explaining why I don't use my Nook all that much. Which, as I gesture to the books on the library’s shelves, everyone can pretty much discern means that there are too many tangible books in my life to worry too much with those that are merely virtual.  I’m definitely a bookaholic. Though possibly, a recovering one. Am I a readaholic?  Not so sure.  I can appreciate other things in life without a book in hand. 

We've had a lot of explaining to do at the library in the two weeks since Christmas. I mean explaining how the library’s access to ebooks works. It seems that one of the hottest gifts really was the Kindle and its ilk.  Indeed, Tom got a Kindle Fire when they came out (prior to Christmas). And he also got some other nifty off-brand eReader iPad-ish thing that was a Groupon deal. My NookColor will be one year old about the time my new granddaughter arrives this spring.  So, our home is eReader rich. 

It's kind of funny.  There are some library patrons who used to read a lot but got tired of paying overdue fines on their library books.  So, they stopped using their library cards. Maybe they stopped reading or maybe they just decided they'd buy the books they wanted. These are the people who eventually got an eReader and now find that the cost of the best books is becoming prohibitive. They're easy to get, easy to store, and maybe easy to pay for.  But they can bankrupt you if you're a heavy reader and simply must have the latest titles on the Bestseller lists.

Now, about those library copies of eBooks... for our library, you must visit your library at least once.  Get your library card in good working order. Be able to access your library card online with your username and password.  And get some brief instruction from the friendly librarian on how to access the downloadable books from home.  And then, if it’s the latest and greatest on the Bestseller lists that you’re after, queue up.  Here’s the other thing I tell people who are learning about library copies of eBooks:  “Shakespeare gotta get paid.”*

Let me tell you, Folks, it's the Wild West out there as far as how these library eBook programs are going to be run in the future.  Yes, I believe library copies are essential for the good of the publishing industry and the health of readers everywhere.  Publishers tend to think they're missing out on revenue for every time a library copy is circulated rather than a copy of the same book purchased.  Yes and no.  If publishers are short-sighted enough to think that every library checkout really would equate with a purchase of that book, they are really dumb and they need to spend a few years working in a library.  For readers, a book worth purchasing is sometimes a book they’ve already read.  Or an author they’ve already read.  What’s the best value for your reading dollar?  It may be a contribution to your local library -- so they can take the risks on the new authors and the older authors who’ve lost their edge.  But let me tell you, as a responsible librarian, I don’t want to devote too much  of the taxpayers’ money or the library’s shelving “real estate” on books that aren’t worthy, either.

Will I make predictions about the fate of libraries and bookstores and reading in general?  Nah, I'm not that kind of prognosticator. I can only tell you my experience so far.  You can make your own predictions. Yes, it's anecdotal for the most part.  Though, we are trying to gather some statistics for our library's experience in the latest digital-age flood.  We’re introducing old patrons, who used to have a library card, to the wonderful world of the new library.  And our even older patrons to their new eReaders. And believe it or not, some patrons – those who’ve always had good library and reading habits -- are quite comfortable with both methods of reading: the old tangible book book and the new eReader “book”. 

Here's what I have to tell you after thirty years of hanging around the book industry: lots of books aren't worth the paper they are printed on. And lots of books that are wonderful never leave the shelf.  Am I just being an elitist?  Am I just talking about the books I like to read and damn everybody else's interests?  No, I'm talking about poorly written, poorly edited "stories" that have been committed to print.  Travesties, some of them.  And I'm in no way an elitist.  I can enjoy a well-written trashy or silly book as well as the next guy.

But I'm not here today to lambaste the publishing industry’s sins of the past or present.  I'm here to talk about my experience in the "liquor store". And riff on reading habits.

I have three problems with my personal reading habits:  1. I'm a slow reader.  2. I'm a writer/editor.  3.  I have many, many interests.

Problem 1 -- Some might say I should take a speed reading class.  Bull.  I don't want to read fast. I only want to have clones who can read everything I want to read and integrate it into the collective of Me.  I like words.  All words.  I like to savor the sentences.  I like to read them as they were written: one word at a time.

Problem 2 -- I'm a writer/editor.  If something was written well, I want to understand how it was done.  If something was written poorly, I want to analyze how it could have been made better if only they'd come to me before committing it to print.

Problem 3 -- This one perhaps I could do something about.  I've gathered books because they looked interesting at the time I was gathering.  But some of the books I've gathered, I've had for a decade or two and still have not found the time to read them.  I'm willing to at least try to reevaluate my interests based on the Me of the Now.

A month or so ago, I decided to go through my shelves and get rid of some of my books that I knew we had at the public library.  Before I totally ditched them, I put them on my library account's virtual list of things I might like to read some day.  This way, I can keep them in my peripheral vision – remembering that the books are accessible – even if they are not on my shelves.

In the chair where I sit composing this, I am facing the wall unit in the living room. I've just counted 91 books.  If I look behind me, there are another nineteen books on the tables, couches and chairs.  That's just one room of my house. And it's not even the room with the books in it.  The dining room has 148 books and journals.  I just counted.  And it's not the room with the books in it, either.  They're upstairs. Actually, in three different rooms upstairs.

I'm a bit ADDish so getting real about my interests is not the problem.  I'll always have a wide array of interests. That's okay.  But getting real about the available time I have to read is a problem.  One I'll always be battling. And that, my friends, is why I’m just like an alcoholic.

*  I first read the phrase “Shakespeare got to get paid, Son” on a t-shirt for sale on the funny and irreverent website Married to the Sea. http://www.marriedtothesea.com/021306/got-to-get-paid.jpg  I have shamelessly used my version of that phrase (substituting “gotta” for “got to”) a BUNCH of times in trying to explain to people why library eBooks don’t mean “infinite copies for infinite people”. Digital Rights Management. DRM.  

In Which the Blog Gets Renamed...

Today is the first day of the New Year.  I'm willing to still call this -- when it is 12:08 a.m. and I have not yet gone to bed-- today, as in "Today is the first day of the New Year."

And a great day to attempt a re-launch of my blog.  I've spent the day building the page.  Fitting it out like a cozy nest.  Not bad for a start. 

The first thing I had to get right was the name of the blog.

Rejected Blog names:

Chang Chang Change – too Asian

Chopped Liver, What Am I?  -- too Jewish

Camel Toe Pick – too… Wheel of Fortune

Squirrel Diversions – “not even worthy to be on my rejection list” (rejection attributed to Tom – also attributed to Tom: “Camel Toe Pick” – though I claim the reason for rejection on that one, both the stated and assumed)

Madam Imadam – Tom’s suggestion

Sarah Palindrome – Tom’s suggestion

Squirrel Gnats – made Tom laugh (and he called it suggestive!)  But no, like in squirrels have to whack off gnats… I’m not building my case here.

  

WHO am I?  What am I about?  That’s what I need to know to name my blog.  I’m about diverting attention.  I’m about changing the subject.  I’m about being a Jane of All Trades, Master of Some.

How about JOATMOS?  Too obscure.

Jane-of-All or Janeofall or Jaynufall

Impeccably Distracted

Rebeccably Distracted

And so it was born.  Or reborn.  

Library's Closed Today -- Bonus day off

Our library is closed today.  This means I get a bonus "day off".  That's in quotes because I actually am going in for a few hours to empty the bookdrop, shelve, and catch up on things that need doing around my desk. Why are we closed?  Because there is a Dragon Boat Race and International Festival going on down at the lake near the library and this event will take over all of the parking that our patrons might otherwise use.  Plus, maybe it's another opportunity for budget savings? I don't know.  I'm just glad to have some time to get things done without the usual heavy library traffic of a Saturday.

One other great thing about our being closed today is that my husband is playing his first concert with the Atlanta Mandolin Orchestra this evening.  And the gig is so far away, up in Rome, that if I'd worked a regular schedule there was no way I'd be able to go.  So, thank you, again, Dragon Boat Races!

Recently, when I was conversing with a fellow writer and good friend, I was saying I was "hoping" to get some writing done. I quickly corrected myself and tried to rephrase that to "will".  Being the good friend that she is, she said I should go one better and reframe that to an "I do" statement.  That night, before I went to bed, I wrote on a Post-It note and attached to my bathroom mirror the following:  "I do my writing in the morning.  Every day."

That was a couple of weeks ago.  Has it been true?  Not yet.  However, I can feel that it's changing.  And the truth of it is that, in a perfect world, I WOULD do my writing in the morning every day.  That's when I'm freshest and, when I manage to make it happen, it boosts my morale for the day.  So, what this morning reminder is for me right now is a reminder to find a way to make the time.  I haven't been too hard on myself up to now because I've also been working on another good morning habit -- walking every day. 

Downloadable audiobooks have been the trick for me for the walking habit.  With a good audiobook to listen to, I've been eager to stay with my new regimen.  And most days I DO get out and walk in the morning at least a minimum of 30 minutes. 

Accomplishing the writing goal is not far behind.  It's just a matter of backing up my wake-up time to accommodate the "new" thing I wish to add to my mornings.  I know I have to be done with walking by 8:15.  Which means to get an hour in, I need to start my walk by 7:15. To get my hour of writing in, I just need to start by 6:15.  And of course, this all means I have to find a way to get to bed and to sleep earlier.  I think this means cutting out more television.  Because I can't/won't cut out my bedtime reading.

Having a partner who also has creative needs is also helpful. Tom is composing more and more music in his "new career" as full-time musician. This summer we finally dedicated a room in the house for his studio. By doing this, I think we have legitimized the time he spends on his music by giving it a place to happen. Not that this is the ONLY place music lives in our home.  Right now, for instance, we are listening to the CD of the music they'll be playing tonight. It's being channeled through the television in the living room via the Playstation 3 (what we use for watching DVDs and listening to CDs).

So, last night, when we ate our dinner in front of the television it was not on.  No commercial interruptions, no teases for the next new show, just happy silence interspersed with conversation.  And when dinner was done?  We each "retired" to our separate rooms to embrace our creative selves for a few hours.  Proof of concept:  it's still morning and I'm writing!

Proof of concept

Just read a blog by someone I knew over 30 years ago.  (HAHAHA -- that is so funny to me -- "I knew over 30 years ago" -- I'm supposed to sound like an old codger when I say that and yet, I do not FEEL like an old codger!)

Anyway, oddly, this person used the same blog background that I had chosen.  I knew this guy when I attended a poetry group back in the 70s called Poetry Factory. (In fact, maybe this guy started it?  I really don't remember.)  So, what has prompted me to try another blog post is that someone commented on one of his posts that he needed to use a larger font.  He said he couldn't figure out how to make it larger. Hah! challenge to see if I could figure it out.  Easy to see on the "new post" page that there is a size icon.  Now to see if it looks larger once published.

Dreadfully lame thing to do a post on, eh?

So, consider this a "test".

(I'm currently watching Mythbusters -- many tests to prove/disprove the myths.)